16 Days Without a Government

“Yeah It’s gonna be a sunny day today” dad said as he walked out of the living room.

It’s morning, 9:35 am on Thursday. I work at the library today. It’s that wonderful time of year when it’s cool out and stays that way most of the day. I am excited about the changes I am making. Despite the fact that I have tried before I am not going to give up despite failing. 

The government apparently made a deal to reopen today, big whoop. Forgive me if I just don’t care about the government. It hurts my brain to think of how incompetent and corrupt they are. 

Woke up yesterday to hearing my uncle Robby in the house talking to my dad. Apparently he had gotten a cab to our house, not knowing the situation at his house. We had been worried about him for a couple days after finding he went to jail. Erika, his girlfriend, apparently called the police after he choked her and threw her against the wall. He was then awoken from sleep to cops in his house, pointing tasers at him and yelling at him not to move. He shared a lot of stories with us about his time in jail. He said that what happened was his fault. She had tried to get him to stop drinking, saying that he’d had enough. But he wouldn’t listen and got very angry. He was remorseful, but in a way seemed grateful for the wake-up call. He is 50 years old and has kept living like he’s in his 20′s. He spent most nights/weekends in bars, and drank entirely too much for one person. He will be on probation for 4 years, since what he was charged with was a third degree felony. I feel bad for him. I wish he could have had an epiphany about changing his lifestyle without having to go to jail and go through all the stuff that comes with that. Robin and Rachel, my cousins, showed up with his truck and hung out for awhile.

My legs are extremely sore, I can only assume from being on my feet more at the new job. Speaking of the new job, I am loving it so far. It’s exciting to be doing new things. I am excited to see the store grow and to be a part of it as it grows. Plus it’s cool to have access to stuff that conveniently and I get a great discount.

I feel hopeful. I want to shift my focus, shift my thinking. I want to choose to do things, rather than succumb to inertia to guide my day. It is going to be a process, but I am committed to it. It will involve me actively being aware each moment of my motivation for what I’m doing. Am I doing it just to do it, or because it’s what I usually do? Or am I doing it because I truly want to do it?

Tim can’t sweat out of one armpit because of the radiation he had for his cancer, how weird is that. I will miss hanging out with him and talking with him at work. We are both at the point where we want to move on. Maybe I can make a point to get together with him from time to time.

1 comment:

  1. Don't worry

    If you're still around

    check out my latest post, and let me know if you want to collaborate



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